Day Fifteen
Matthew 5:27-32 27“You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; 28but I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. 29“And if your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30“And if your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to go into hell. 31“And it was said, ‘WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE’; 32but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Full disclosure here: I have never been married. I know that I am wading into water over my head. But Jesus was not married, and he waded into those waters… all I can say, “Lord Jesus, lead the way.”
Jesus said that day, “You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’”
Many of us learned that it was part of the Ten Commandments. It is number seven and comes after you shall not commit murder. As a child, I was curious and looked it up in our family green dictionary where it sat on a table in our living room. It said something like this, “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse.” I remembered hearing gossip about a neighbor who was cheating, and I knew he had broken that seventh commandment.
I asked my mother, “How could he do adultery when he was married?”
My mother said, “How did you learn that word?”
I responded, “The dictionary.”
“I will speak to your father about that.” She never answered my question.
The truth is children often learn about adultery due to the behavior of adults that they know. It affects the child. It breaks a troth between two people. They make a pledge by taking an oath (that is what troth means). It is an oath of loyalty and is a solemn agreement. In a Christian marriage this oath is said before God. Adultery is breaking that oath.
Now in Jesus time, marriages were not between two people who loved each other for the most part. They were arranged by their parents. In this age, arranged marriages are rare in most cultures but still present in others. These days most marriages are based on romantic love. It first emerged in France in the 11th and 12th centuries which was in the Middle Ages after the Dark Ages had ended. In human existence it is fairly recent belief that marriage needed to be based on romantic love.
But romantic love is fleeting. My mother was very practical, but my father was romantic. Each year at 5 minutes to 5 PM, he came home or called Ma to wish her happy anniversary because that is the time that they married. Ma would fuss, but afterwards I would see her smile because he remembered what mattered to him was not only that day but that time they married.
Marriage is hard… I saw this over and over with my work with families, but also with people I knew. A person gets physically ill, and some people keep their oaths. Others didn’t. I also know people who leave marriages for the well-being of their children. Their children need stability and there is none in their home. I know people who leave abusive marriages. In those two cases, I understand the dilemma. Sometimes you have to break an oath to survive.
But Jesus is specific about adultery. He says, “but I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
Jesus is speaking not of love but sex…and as a woman, I have desired men. I understand what he is saying here. When a person only wants another person for sex, they have reduced that person down to their desires. They no longer see that person as a human being but someone they want to possess. That is not even romantic love… that is desire…and in its worst forms it can lead to the destruction of the person that was once desired.
Jesus continues, “And if your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to go into hell.” This is very strong language, and I am sure many people were uncomfortable with what Jesus was saying.
Jesus is telling us today that when sex is only for the possession of another person it is deadly. It will lead you away from God. It will destroy who you are. When you break an oath which marriage is, it becomes easier to break other oaths.
Jesus continues, “And it was said, ‘WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” This is a clear statement of what adultery is.
Here is the thing, I do believe that adultery is a sin, but I also know that Jesus gave us all the answer to the question of how am I to be cleansed of sin? Jesus is that answer. He will wash us clean of any sin that we commit. I know good people who had legitimate reasons to divorce. They found happiness within another marriage. God knows these people’s hearts, and He knows their needs. It doesn’t dismiss the sin, but God knew that sending His son to die for us would cleanse us. He loves us that much.
Today’s Question:
Have you heard what a destructive marriage does to a person?
Ever in God’s Love,
Mary Elizabeth Todd
December 4, 2024
Ruhamah United Methodist Church Bible Verses 